Mommy Memos

When I was younger I was never a "kid lover." You know, one of those people who just LOVES children, loves to babysit, loves to always be playing with kids. Not that I didn't LIKE small children and babies. They were fun to hold and talk to and play with for short spans of time, but not hours! I would read the Babysitters Club series and love the idea of being in a babysitting club, and my next-door-neighbor and I even started a babysitting service and handed out fliers and all. But every time I had a babysitting job I wouldn't look forward to it. I would dread it! I thought that maybe it was because at that point (when I was 12 or 13) I already had a little brother at home that I had to take care of at times. But that wasn't really it. There were people with multiple brothers and sisters I knew that had to help take care of them and LOVED it, AND loved babysitting. So I decided that I just wasn't one of those people who would make a great mother one day. Those people who seem to be BORN to be moms. Like my sister-in-law Monica. She's amazing with kids and always has been (plus she's not boastful about the fact that she's a great mom, which I LOVE and which I think makes her an even greater mom!).

Anyway, before I had Tyler I was genuinely afraid that I would suck as a mom and not really know how to take care of him, or maybe even (GASP!) not enjoy it! But the very second that Tyler was born and placed on my stomach, something inside me clicked. The tears came and I instantly knew that I would be fine and that I would love my time with him. And I have. Not that there aren't moments when I go nuts and feel like screaming. No, there are plenty of those. But I'm so thankful that for me, the "mothering instinct" did actually turn on and didn't stay dormant for the rest of my life. I did finally gain confidence in myself as a mother, though it is definitely challenging and even though I know I will have so much to learn at every stage of my children's lives. I know I'll try and fail and have to try again, but it's something I'm excited about.

I think my favorite blog posts to read are those of friends and family who talk about the new things their children are learning. I've become so fascinated with how children's brains work and how they learn new things. Each child is so different and learns new things at different times than others, but no matter when those new things start, I love hearing about them. I love hearing about the funny things they say and how they interact with siblings or other children, and how the characters of their parents can start showing through them so early!

Recently I read about a book that was written (I don't remember the title) about how parents really don't have any influence over what their child will be like because children are just born with a certain character that can't be changed. That's the biggest load of BULL that I've ever heard! Yes, every kid has a character that is different from others, but every kid is also influenced by their parents or those around them every single day. The act of NOT trying to teach them something because you believe they can't be taught or molded is in itself teaching them something. Something harmful, but it's teaching them something nonetheless.

One of this woman's main points was that it doesn't do a thing to teach a child religion at an early age because they'll just go off and do whatever they want when they get older. This part was utterly laughable and unbelievable to me. Yes, eventually kids grow into adults that make their own decisions, and some don't follow the same things their parents believe. But...really??! Kids that are taught morals, values, and respect and love of God turn out no better than those who were taught NOTHING? Kids who are taught to pray when they're young don't generally keep up the practice and teach their own kids to pray someday? Even if they don't continue in any religion, the values they learned don't help them AT ALL in life? I think it's so sad these kinds of lies are being propogated today. The lie that parents don't have any responsibility for their kids. How awful is that?

The past couple of months Tyler has been starting to fold his arms when we say prayer (only for the first few seconds at the beginning and then maybe somewhere in the middle or towards the end for a few seconds), but this last week I've noticed his understanding grow a little bit. Ty and I were at a baptism on Saturday. During the song he was playing with something and not paying any attention to what was going on (other than to dance for a couple seconds when the music started). The second the song was over he put down what he was playing with and folded his arms. Before anyone had even gotten up to start praying. The same thing in Sacrament meeting. After the song ended ( he was sitting with someone else because I was playing, but I saw him do it) he immediately folded his arms. Even during the sacrament, after having folded his arms the first time after the song ended, he folded his arms again when it was time for the water to be blessed. Such a simple thing, but it melted my heart because it made me really realize how impressionable they are even at such a young age. Lately Tyler is nuts during Sacrament Meeting and it's been really hard for me to get him to stay in one place for longer than a couple of minutes, but he's starting to understand that prayers are special. If he can understand that at 17 months, how many more important things will we be able to teach him in the coming years that will hopefully help him throughout his life? Even when he does ultimately make his own choices.

I'm so thankful for the gift of being a mother. It's so precious. I feel sad for all those who have children that they aren't thankful for. But I'm so thankful for all of YOU who are wonderful examples to me as you raise your children! There are so many out there who haven't been blessed with this gift. If you have children, go hug them, be grateful for them and teach them every good thing you can while you have the chance.