Got Kids?

Last week was one of THOSE weeks. You know, one of those weeks where you feel you might be left bald by the time it's over because you your kids drive you so nuts you pull all your hair out! Doubly FUN for me since I'm in the middle of post-pregnancy hair-loss anyway!

Well, on one of the days of this particularly wonderful week, my husband got home, and I immediately passed him the baton and asked if I could stop running. He's wonderful. He always tells me that he will take care of it, and to take all the time I need.

So, I left and headed to - where else? - Deseret Book. What better place to go when you're feeling like a crappy mom? So in a matter of just a few minutes after walking in the door, I had a stack of about ten books that I was considering. After almost an hour, I narrowed it down to four: Two books on motherhood, one on fun dates, and one called What to Say in Any Situation ('cause let's not forget, I live with my foot in my mouth. What a perfect book!).
This turned out to be the BEST and the one that will probably become dog-eared and completely destroyed over the years because of how much I will refer to it (even though I think the phrase SANE MOTHER is a complete oxymoron).


This morning, I had just put my daughter down for a nap, and was sitting in the bathroom reading this book while my son was taking a bath. Now, bath time is usually pretty great. I get some time to catch up on some reading, and he gets to play. The problem always comes when it's time to wash his hair. He simply does not understand the concept of putting his head back so that the water doesn't get in his face. And he insists on screaming so loudly, that he can't hear my explanation for why he should do it (yeah, like a two-year-old REALLY cares when you're trying to reason with him). So this is how the scene inevitably goes:

Me: Ok, sweetie, in about two minutes, I need to wash your hair, ok? It'll be fun! We'll see how fast we can get it done! (said with as much enthusiasm as humanly possible)

Ty: (immediate frown appears) NO!! (whining and crying ensues)

(I ignore him, until the two minutes have gone by, then quietly stand up and get the shampoo and rinse cup and gently ask him to look up at the ceiling. Or I might try laughingly looking up at the ceiling myself, acting like there's something funny to see up there. Pretty soon it escalates.)

Me: Ty, just look at the light. It will be so quick, I promise!

Ty: AAAHHHH!!! NOOOOOO!!!! AAHHHHH!!!

Me: Would you...PLEASE...ALL you have to do is....

Ty: AHHHHH!!!! NOOOOO!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

(by now I'm soaked from all the thrashing and splashing)

Me: Would you just listen for a minute ....FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, HOLD STILL!

So anyway, not looking forward to this little scene today, I took a tiny piece of advice from this book: There is nothing wrong with a little bribing if it's not used TOO often. Usually I only bribe Ty with some candy if we're at a store and he's being crazy. He loves M&M's and that will always do the trick. Today, remembering that I had a few stashed away for our next outing, I calmly told him that if he let me wash his hair without the usual warfare, I would give him a few candies. He immediately put on his smile. Then I asked him to put his head back, and he did. He was quiet, and so I was able to make it into a game, and he ended up loving it. Then I made such a BIG, FAT, HUGE deal out of the fact that he had done it so well (another piece of advice in this book), that he was laughing really hard by the time we were all done. Miracle. I have a feeling I'll never have to deal with this particular issue again, even without the candy because he finally saw that if he puts his head back, he doesn't get water in his face! AMAZING!

For the next couple of hours, if I saw him doing something good, or something that I had asked him to do, I made sure to act like he had saved the world or something. His attitude completely changed. I mean, I usually praise him when he does something good, but never so HUGELY, especially for tiny things that don't seem to matter so much. Well, I found out that a lot of praise goes a long way! Also, I learned some great ways to get kids to help with the housework. I can't wait to keep reading!

Pick up this book if you're needing some tips. Many of the things are for older children, but it never hurts to start building up your strategy now!