Nine Months

Well here it is, the middle of my 9th month. I feel like I'm a total wimp when it comes to pregnancy anyway, and so it doesn't really help that this time has been even harder than the last. I'm a whole lot bigger (and NOT just in the stomach area), I'm retaining a whole lot more fluid, and I have pains that I didn't have before. But I've also realized how humorous the 9th month of pregnancy can be. I thought I would share some of these things.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN:

-You seriously weigh the pros and cons of getting up to go to the bathroom. Is it going to be more painful to heft yourself out of the chair you've settled into than to just deal with the "gotta go" feeling?

-Your emotions take a rollercoaster ride daily. One person you see says you are a whole lot smaller than she ever was, and the next asks if you're having twins and wonders quietly to herself (or sometimes not quietly at all!) why you're not at the hospital in labor instead of at the checkout counter at Shopko.

-You go to bed with one chin and wake up the following morning with two.

-Your stomach hangs out the bottom of almost every maternity shirt you own.

-Your little boy gets hurt and is screaming but since you don't see any blood, you stay where you are, figuring he'll get over it.

-If the phone isn't right next to you, whoever is calling is going to be ignored until you're forced to get up for your next bathroom break.

-Your doctor tells you you only have two more weeks to wait before being induced, and you feel so relieved. Then you get in your car and burst into tears because...YOU HAVE TWO MORE WEEKS!

-You wake up in the middle of the night gasping for breath as if you're in the middle of running a marathon. (Not that I will EVER know how that really feels.)

-The bras that are a cup size bigger than the ones you wore before you got pregnant are TOO SMALL!

-You feel like you're a toddler all over again because you're constantly tripping, running into things or people, walking around with some sort of food all over your shirt, and spilling whatever you happen to be trying to drink. In fact, you do all of these things more often than your child who IS a toddler.

-When you prepare yourself to get up from your chair or bed, your little boy starts to imitate the grunting noises that he has gotten so used to hearing.

-Sneezing is extremely dangerous and may require a change of clothes afterward.

-You eat ice cream multiple times every day and still feel that it's not enough (ok, maybe this isn't so much a pregnancy thing as a ME thing).

-You have wardrobe malfunctions daily. There's always something showing or sticking out that should not be showing or sticking out. Unfortunately, it is very probable that you've stopped caring.

Just a few of the many joys. Feel free to add to this list. Well...hopefully I won't be blogging again until Gaby is here. October 2 will not get here quickly enough.