Got Kids?

Last week was one of THOSE weeks. You know, one of those weeks where you feel you might be left bald by the time it's over because you your kids drive you so nuts you pull all your hair out! Doubly FUN for me since I'm in the middle of post-pregnancy hair-loss anyway!

Well, on one of the days of this particularly wonderful week, my husband got home, and I immediately passed him the baton and asked if I could stop running. He's wonderful. He always tells me that he will take care of it, and to take all the time I need.

So, I left and headed to - where else? - Deseret Book. What better place to go when you're feeling like a crappy mom? So in a matter of just a few minutes after walking in the door, I had a stack of about ten books that I was considering. After almost an hour, I narrowed it down to four: Two books on motherhood, one on fun dates, and one called What to Say in Any Situation ('cause let's not forget, I live with my foot in my mouth. What a perfect book!).
This turned out to be the BEST and the one that will probably become dog-eared and completely destroyed over the years because of how much I will refer to it (even though I think the phrase SANE MOTHER is a complete oxymoron).


This morning, I had just put my daughter down for a nap, and was sitting in the bathroom reading this book while my son was taking a bath. Now, bath time is usually pretty great. I get some time to catch up on some reading, and he gets to play. The problem always comes when it's time to wash his hair. He simply does not understand the concept of putting his head back so that the water doesn't get in his face. And he insists on screaming so loudly, that he can't hear my explanation for why he should do it (yeah, like a two-year-old REALLY cares when you're trying to reason with him). So this is how the scene inevitably goes:

Me: Ok, sweetie, in about two minutes, I need to wash your hair, ok? It'll be fun! We'll see how fast we can get it done! (said with as much enthusiasm as humanly possible)

Ty: (immediate frown appears) NO!! (whining and crying ensues)

(I ignore him, until the two minutes have gone by, then quietly stand up and get the shampoo and rinse cup and gently ask him to look up at the ceiling. Or I might try laughingly looking up at the ceiling myself, acting like there's something funny to see up there. Pretty soon it escalates.)

Me: Ty, just look at the light. It will be so quick, I promise!

Ty: AAAHHHH!!! NOOOOOO!!!! AAHHHHH!!!

Me: Would you...PLEASE...ALL you have to do is....

Ty: AHHHHH!!!! NOOOOO!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

(by now I'm soaked from all the thrashing and splashing)

Me: Would you just listen for a minute ....FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, HOLD STILL!

So anyway, not looking forward to this little scene today, I took a tiny piece of advice from this book: There is nothing wrong with a little bribing if it's not used TOO often. Usually I only bribe Ty with some candy if we're at a store and he's being crazy. He loves M&M's and that will always do the trick. Today, remembering that I had a few stashed away for our next outing, I calmly told him that if he let me wash his hair without the usual warfare, I would give him a few candies. He immediately put on his smile. Then I asked him to put his head back, and he did. He was quiet, and so I was able to make it into a game, and he ended up loving it. Then I made such a BIG, FAT, HUGE deal out of the fact that he had done it so well (another piece of advice in this book), that he was laughing really hard by the time we were all done. Miracle. I have a feeling I'll never have to deal with this particular issue again, even without the candy because he finally saw that if he puts his head back, he doesn't get water in his face! AMAZING!

For the next couple of hours, if I saw him doing something good, or something that I had asked him to do, I made sure to act like he had saved the world or something. His attitude completely changed. I mean, I usually praise him when he does something good, but never so HUGELY, especially for tiny things that don't seem to matter so much. Well, I found out that a lot of praise goes a long way! Also, I learned some great ways to get kids to help with the housework. I can't wait to keep reading!

Pick up this book if you're needing some tips. Many of the things are for older children, but it never hurts to start building up your strategy now!

And the Website of the Month is...

Is it just me, or is it sometimes really hard to think of things to do to entertain kids? I just found an awesome website that has TONS of really great activity ideas. You can sign up and then tag your favorite activities to your own folder. Then just click on that when your little one is getting bored and there you have it! A whole list of easy ideas!

www.saavysource.com

Fire-Starting Soup

In the past two months I have really gotten into cooking. I love finding great recipes to try. The place I go most frequently is Rachael Ray's website. I think we have loved just about every recipe of hers that I've used. One of those was this recipe for chicken noodle soup:

http://rachaelray.com/recipe.php?recipe_id=2728

Try it. It's amazing. And don't ignore the spices! I used to think that the spices were no big deal and that if I didn't use them, it would turn out the same. HELLO! They are what makes all the difference. I decided to use fresh herbs in this recipe and it turned out amazing...despite the fact that I almost started a fire in the house.

I didn't realize that I had spilled some oil inside one of the burners at some point that week until I was making this soup and the smoke detectors started going off. It just looked like regular steam and I didn't see any black smoke, so I didn't understand what was going on. But as Grandma and I fanned the smoke detector and opened all the doors and windows, I glanced back in the kitchen and saw flames shooting up out of the burner around the pot. Grandma got it out fast, but the smoke detectors kept going off. Both of my kids were taking naps so I ran downstairs, expecting to hear screaming. But no, they were still sound asleep and stayed asleep for another hour. How is it possible that running water from the bathroom can wake them up during the night, but ear-splitting sirens right above their heads do nothing? Seriously?

So, try the recipe, but make sure you haven't spilled any oil in your burners beforehand, k? :)

Free Education!

When I finally graduated from college in 2006 I remember being so excited that I was "done" with school. Well, now I really miss it. Learning is so cool!! On my own, I've been trying to learn to do some things that interest me. Like drawing. I've always been AWFUL at drawing, or any type of art, for that matter. For Christmas, my husband got me a drawing book. When I saw it I wasn't all that excited because I thought, "I'm awful at drawing, and I'll never be able to do it." But then started reading the book and doing some of the exercises that it has in it. Result: I drew a pretty dang decent tree and a couple pretty decent-looking bottles! I know, nothing extremely exciting, but it made me realize that with more practice, I really WILL be able to draw. Never say never.

My point: keep learning, even when you're done with school. I just found out that BYU offers a whole bunch of online courses for free. I didn't know! When I found the site yesterday I got all sorts of excited about all of the new things I'm going to learn online. Like how to grow vegetables, fruits and nuts; and how to BOWL...and how to speak English as a second language if my first language is Chinese (ok, maybe not that one). The one I decided to start with is personal finance. I graduated with a degree in finance and yet I still do so poorly with managing our personal finances! So I am super excited!

Here's the link: http://ce.byu.edu/is/site/courses/free.cfm

Happy Learning!

Mamma Mia!

Last Friday night I felt like Lorelai Gilmore sitting next to Sookie St. James at Miss Patty's dance recital, as children in colorful costumes sporting "Jazz Hands" danced through the aisles. I felt my cheeks getting red and my eyes widening as yet another person burst into song on the TV screen. After nearly an hour, I turned to look at my husband sitting next to me and realized he had the exact same expression on his face. It was about then that we turned the movie off. I would have sat through it, but he insisted that he just couldn't. We agreed that Mamma Mia was just a little bit too cheesy. I'll probably sit down and watch the rest of it someday because I do want to know what happens, but I was definitely disappointed. What was all the fuss about? I thought this was supposed to be one of the best movies ever (or so I was led to believe by various women exclaiming, "OH, that is the BEST movie EVER!").

So, maybe I'm not entirely qualified to make this criticism, since I didn't see the whole movie, but then again maybe I am. I think a "good" movie should be "good" or compelling all the way through. There should be something that makes you want to keep watching. And frankly, the only thing in Mamma Mia was something that kept making me want to grimace, or flinch, or maybe hide my head in my hands in embarrassment.

Here's my theory on all the hype of Mamma Mia. It's just like Krispy Kreme. When I was a freshman in college a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop opened in Orem, Utah. I had never had a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I had only ever heard of Krispy Kreme because magazine articles touted them as, basically, doughnut shop of the stars. This celebrity loves to grab a Krispy Kreme doughnut on the way to the studio, and that celebrity loves having coffee and a Krispy Kreme doughnut while taking a long walk on the beach in the morning, etc, etc. So if celebrities like them, they MUST be good! When they opened in Orem my roommates and I decided to go down and get some. It must have been almost midnight and the drive-thru line was ENDLESS! But we waited anyway and were rewarded with an assortment of soft, warm doughnuts. Oh they were good all right, but definitely not the best I've ever tasted, and definitely not worth waiting an hour for. The same thing, in my opinion, is happening with In-N-Out. Sure, their stuff is good, but, really? You want to sit in a line for an hour to get one of their hamburgers?

And Mamma Mia...it started in London and was huge on Broadway and they sing ABBA songs and ...(insert loud, girly scream here) OH MY GOSH it's a movie now and it's going to be the BEST movie EVER!

Ok, yeah, that was a dumb comparison (and yes, I know I'll probably get slammed by many people who grew up in the Southeast and knew and loved Krispy Kreme before it reached California at all!), and maybe it really is a great movie. I guess I won't know until I sit down and watch the rest of it. And maybe I'll love it so much that I'll take my husband on a trip to Greece, and we'll rent a boat, and I'll row him over to the little island, and THEN...(DOT DOT DOT)!!!

The Perfect Word

In the fashion of the head of a household who brings all of his guests to order and thanks them for coming to his home, I guess I should do the same. Thanks for being here! I guess I should explain what "here" is. This is basically my writing laboratory. I love writing. I wrote a book that is technically complete, but still FAR from actually being done. One day I hope to send it out to try and get it published, but I feel like I need to step away from it for a little bit and do some other things. I think my next project is going to be a children's book, but whatever that next step may be, I need to write every day. What better way than a blog, right? And what better subject than this crazy, hectic, frustrating, funny, wonderful and blessed situation called MOTHERHOOD.

Now you understand the "Mother" part of the title, and if you know me, you probably understand the "Muddled" part too. But here is the explanation, (compliments of dictionary.com), definitions in bold applying more specifically to myself:

Muddle -

-verb (used with object)
1. to mix up in a confused or bungling manner; jumble.

2. to cause to become mentally confused.

3. to cause to become confused or stupid or as if with an intoxicating drink.

4. to make muddy or turbid, as water.


-verb (used without object)
5. to proceed, behave, or think in a confused or aimless fashion or with an air of improvisation.


-noun
5. the state or condition of being muddled, esp. a confused mental state.

6. a confused, disordered or embarrassing condition; mess

-verb phrase
Muddle through - to achieve a certain degree of success but without much skill, polish, experience, or direction.


Oh yes, that is definitely the definition of ME. And not just as applies to motherhood, but really, many aspects of my life. When I was a teenager, my bedroom was always a mess. One of my best friends gave me a picture book for Christmas entitled Franklin is Messy. Pretty obvious hint, wouldn't you say? Not only is it challenging for me to keep my house clean, especially now that I have two kids, but I am also constantly inserting my foot into my mouth. And yes I love to try doing things that I have never done before, and it is never in any organized, methodical way. I get an idea into my head, and immediately, without thought or planning, rush out to acquire the items needed for my newest experiment. Sometimes the outcome is pretty good, and other times my interest fizzles before the idea comes to fruition.

The point is, this chapter of my life is an endless maze with so many twists and turns, ups and downs. There is so much to write about! Some days are hilarious and some are heartbreaking. One day I might write about a new recipe I tried, and another day I might write about a new embarrassing moment (and these are becoming more and more frequent). On some days, I may find that nothing of interest has happened, although I'm realizing that sometimes there are lessons to be learned in the simplest of happenings.

Diaper duty calls!

Life is Beautiful...and Exhausting

It is soooo wonderful not to be pregnant anymore! Also wonderful is the fact that my recovery this time has been so much easier than last! But before I go into the whole story I really need to say thank you to my AMAZING husband. Unfortunately, he did not marry a Super Mom. He married a Holy-Crap-I-Don't-Know-What-I'm-Doing Mom. Ryan has been a lifesaver in every way! He had a week off after Gaby was born and he spent the week mostly trying to give Tyler as much attention as possible. But he also never stopped asking what he could do for me and how he could help with Gaby. He even took her to the doctor by himself when she needed to get her bilirubin level checked a couple of days after we came home. He helps with her when she wakes up during the night, he changes diapers, he does laundry, and he is so cute with both of his kids. So, despite my lack of "Super Mom-ness" I am well aware that I married a Super Husband/Dad and I am so grateful for everything he does for us! I love you Ry!



So for anyone who is interested in the labor story, here's how it went:

9:00 am - arrive at hospital
9:30 - check into room
9:35 - am asked to pee in a cup and for the first time in 9 months, am unable to pee.
11:00 - hooked up to Pitocin, mild contractions, am still smiling
1:30 - doctor arrives, breaks my water
1:40 - contractions getting much stronger, am no longer smiling
2:00 - anesthesiologist enters and I immediately become terrified because it is very obvious that he is the "all-business, no talk" sort of doctor
2:20 - anesthesiologist leaves after having successfully STABBED me in the back and SHOVED a tube into my spine, not even asking if I was ok after I burst into tears
3:00 - my legs are completely asleep but I can still feel the contractions
3:30 - turn down the nurse's offer to call the anesthesiologist
4:40 - doctor returns and it's time to push
4:56 - Gaby is born!

Things are good, but I'm still not sure how to carry on with normal life with two kids. Unlike another amazing person I know who came to get Ty the other day and carted him around along with her own three boys as if it was no big deal (thank you AGAIN!), I HAVE NO IDEA how to take multiple children to a grocery store or anywhere out of the house. Maybe I'll figure it out sometime in the next year or so. For now we're just trying to survive through these sleepless first weeks and I guess the rest will come.